Lietuva

Our time in Lithuania was with family. Trevor’s long lost and now found family, actually. Many may know of this connection but perhaps not the story behind it. We have specific details, such as dates, safe at our home or they are with Trev’s third cousin and are putting this down from memory. Also, the story keeps unfolding as we read letters together and hear more stories from older members of the family.

Trevor’s great grandfather immigrated to the United States around 1910. At that time, Lithuania was part of and ruled by Russia, and he we have documents showing he was part of the Russian Army. Due to lack of economic opportunities, a lot of Lithuanians were leaving for other parts of Europe and the U.S. He was one of seven siblings, his older brother was already in Chicago. The family had a farm but we believe it might have been the custom for the youngest son to inherit and care for the parents. Maybe that was true, or maybe he wanted to get away from future conflicts with the Army. Maybe he was just seeking opportunities in America at the behest of his brother or just wanted to see the world (maybe Trev comes by that honestly). We will never know.

Anyway, he did marry in Chicago but his wife died in childbirth. At some point, he moved to Detroit and met and married Trev’s great grandmother and they had one child, Trev’s grandmother. There was correspondence with the family in Lithuania when it was possible before, during and after World War I. By 1936, he was settled with his family in New Jersey and was successful enough to afford a trip back. We believe there was a family event he was returning for, such as a christening. One thought is that he was the godfather for a niece or nephew.

He apparently wanted to take his daughter, Trev’s grandmother, with him. It was her senior year in high school and either she couldn’t go or maybe didn’t want to go. Again, we don’t exactly know but there were things she said later in life to Trev that makes him think she was very much American and didn’t necessarily want to embrace her immigrant background. Maybe this was true of many of that age at that time. So he alone went back and there were several photos taken. Sadly, we can’t put our hands on an online copy of the one with the whole family. But this one is wonderful, too, of Trev’s great grandfather seated looking to one of his sisters.

Shortly thereafter was the start of World War II. Lithuania was, unfortunately, on the ever changing front lines. We have heard some stories of what it was like when their farm changed from being occupied by Germans to Russians and Germans again. What stuck with me about that was how the Germans forced them out of the house and into the barn, but allowed them to keep their garden and their animals. When the Russians were there, they had to flee to the forest and hide. As the Russians were being pushed out again, they would burn everything and kill all the animals so nothing was left.

There are many more stories of what the family endured during and after the war as part of the U.S.S.R. Those are their stories that we are honored they trust us enough to share with us and are not ours to share. All I will say is it is clear why the bonds of family are so strong there and why they appreciate a great meal and enjoying life in the moment.

After World War II, correspondence continued between Trev’s great grandfather and his family up until around 1977. That is when he died and we believe the last letter was from Trev’s grandmother to inform the family of his passing. There was no connection for 24 years – the long, lost part.

Reconnecting

Fast forward then to (we think) 2001. Funny how you can remember events but not necessarily the year they happened. I’m going to write this paragraph from my own personal memory. Trev and I were friends from graduate school and he had invited me to come to a party at someone’s house. After an evening out with a girlfriend of mine, I talked her into going with me. I remember this part clearly, because Trev was so excited to see me to share his news. He had just received a response to his letter from family in Lithuania. And I knew then that this was the guy for me. Here was a 20-something guy at a party with drinks and people and many lovely ladies younger than me. Yet all he wanted to do was talk to me about making a connection with long, lost family.

What had happened was this. While visiting his grandmother who lived in the same house she was raised in, he found a bag with letters tucked back into a closet. There were photographs and letters, almost all in Lithuanian. Looking back now, he can’t remember his grandmother’s reaction but our sense of it is she maybe didn’t feel they were as interesting as Trev did. He noticed that a great many of them were sent from the same address, so he had written a letter there.

They replied back and this was the letter he was telling me about. His grandmother’s first cousin still lived in that same apartment. To this day, she still does – it has been more than 40 years. She sought help translating it and when she realized what it was, she enlisted her sister’s granddaughter, Trev’s third cousin, who spoke some English to help with a response. This is the part where I could say “the rest is history” but in a beautiful way that story is still unfolding.

Trev and I traveled to Lithuania in the summer of 2003, twenty years ago. I still actually get a little verklempt getting to witness that reconnection happen. We met lots of family with his third cousin doing an amazing job of translating. We went again three years later as a family of three to visit but then life and work and budgets took over for a very long time. Trev went back a third time in 2017, taking his mother. She has a strong sense of her Lithuanian heritage from her grandparents so Trev really wanted her to get to connect with them as we had.

This Trip

So when we were planning this trip to Europe, the anchor for us was to be in Lithuania when his third cousin and her family would also be there. They live outside of Lithuania now and return there every August for vacation with family. Whenever we are there, we don’t go hungry. The family is so welcoming, the food is wonderful, and we always have a great time.

Highlights this year were cooking lessons, wild mushroom picking, a canoe trip, a rally cross, and backyard jenga at a cousins house. We also enjoyed a sauna night and relaxing in their extraordinary garden. We have tomato envy and acquired some good tips. We plan to return in two years and our goal is to be able to converse ever so slightly in Lithuanian.